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July 16th, 2009

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July 8th, 2009

08:34 am - Mediocre White Men I've done some stuff, and once again, instead of updating about it, I"m just going to do a survey I stole from caribbean_moon  Bold all of the following TV shows which you've ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime. - Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode of it. - If you want, add up to 3 additional shows (keep the list in alphabetical order), but you must delete one show for each one that you add. ( Tv Much? ) Wow.... so looking at that, you know what I realized?  I've watched alot of shitty tv.  Just because it was on, or because I didn't have the cash to go out to a movie... woah... crazy.  I wonder what kind of things you could accomplish if instead of keeping the tv on during that rerun of Married with Children, you turned it off and did something? That's kinda like, the most terrible thing I can say as a television major isn't it? We were talking about the future of television a few weeks ago in class, and Matt, the teacher, made a comment that 15/20 years ago, you'd hear people who worked in the industry talking about how much they admired literature and classics, and were trying to in some subtle way recreate that sort of feeling, but in the end, TV was more about money than art.  Supposedly the same positions that used to say that 15-20 years ago don't even bother talking abouto art, literature and decent self expression any more.  They just go for the bucks.  Which is why Reality shows and cartoons are doing so well, I guess. Don't get me wrong, you can't pull me away from Family Guy most of the time, and I'd sacrfice my left breast to get an internship on South Park, but are they really what the viewing public deserve?  I mean, tv is this awesome way of reaching millions and millions of people at once, and the main thing we use it for is to Preserve the Status Quo and sell shit. I suppose the argument is that you're just giving the people what they want.. And I supposed they want melodrama, bug eating and fart jokes.  But part of me can't help but question that in it's entirety. I remember in the first film class I ever took, We were looking at "older" films from the 40's and 50's, and the teacher made the comment that back then, you'd never even think of putting a blurry shot into a finished studio movie, unless it was completely intentional.  And now, with our awesome new age equiptment and technical knowledge, there are some terrible blurry moments in some big budget studio movies... I mean, hell, even I can notice it sometimes, and my eyesight is terrible and my attention to detail is even worse!  So, if we've got all this great, wonderful equiptment, and tons of people willing to use it right... why doesn't the movie going public demand perfect shots constantly? Our standards are lower. I dunno if this argument really works as well as I want it to, but I'm under the impression that most people don't care what they watch as long as you tell them its good.  And if that's the case, stay with me here, shouldn't we- or rather, they, since all i do is go to the worst film school in LA and watch a bunch of shitty TV and therefore can not be considered part of the industry- shouldn't they be producing quality programming that stimulates the mind and challenges the norms of society?  And then I can't help but wonder if that's what we're  (ok, THEY're) trying to do.  I mean, I hope that most of civilized society isn't trying to become the next top model or see how many bugs they can eat before they throw up (And don't believe that the people who win those games don't throw up. EVERYONE throws up.  Just not always on camera)  But stuff like wife swap.. which was really a voyeristic jerky show, but DOES take people ON IT out of their comfort zone  to challenge their way of doing things.... I just wonder if this frustration with the shittiness of programming is something that they do try to deal with... and no one's really good enough to make something that's consistently good. Writing a book- like a novel- can take alot of time, and of course there are alot of drawbacks to it- but In terms of creating something that can reach people, touch people, and change people, it's probably the best form available.  Because when you write something in prose/novel form, you have the world at your fingertips and almost endless choices on how to show what you're trying to get accross.  In a novel, almost anything can make sense.  You can tell someone's story from inside their head- giving their thoughts and emotions, you can tell it from some one else's POV.. you can even tell your story thru "god's" Point of view, knowing actions, thoughts, and backstories... It's all available to you. And more than that, reading is such an intimate, complex thing. It's personal.  The way I imagine Alice in Wonderland isn't gonna look the same way that you do.  Or that any one else does.  Reading something is casting and costuming and lighting and editing and blocking and location scouting and set design between all those words.  I'm not the only person who argues that reading is creative.  Movies are a little different.  There's still potential to create something emotional, life changing.  Writing a movie I think gives a writer a bigger challenge, in terms of what you can and cannot express.  There's something fun about the challenge of making your point within the tight limits of 120 pages of strict format.  The Difference between writing a book and writing a movie is all about audience demands. A reader only asks one thing of you...  Tell me.  Where as a movie watcher asks show me. Movie writing may still be writing, but movie watching kinda takes the creativity out of the picture.  You don't have to cast your own heroes- Arnold and Bruce and Johnny and Brad are already up there spelling it out for you.  You don't have to worry about any of the visuals, and you don't have to think about why people are doing the things they're doing... They just are. And of course you can write a movie with a monologue or alot of expository characters that are always asking the main one how they feel or what they think.  But if your story's got too much of that thinking stuff in it, you might as well just make it a book, because that's not what movies are about.  They're visual for a reason.  You sit there and you watch things happen, and if the writers done his job really well, you feel something for the people up there on screen, and it makes you look into yourself, and it makes you think about your own life.  And it you're lucky, something in you changes for the better, even if its just a subtle change. Television has all the formatting and other challenges of movies, with the added bonus of a shorter production schedule, and lower audience attention spans. I mean, it can take six months to write a screenplay for a movie.  Really it can take more than that, but if it's your only major distraction and you've figured out the language of format, then you should really be able to get a good first draft and perhaps a second, done in six months.  I have absolutely no idea how long a novel should take, but I'm assuming for the most part they take even longer than that.  You might have six months to write a tv episode, but if you're on staff, you won't be writing just one- and when you're done with that one, you'll have to revisit those characters and figure out something new to do with them!  I'm not saying that writing, creatively speaking, any of these styles is easier or harder, because that really vaires from person to person.  I can write a sketch in two hours, a short story in two days, and a 25 page script in two weeks, but I dont think I'll ever be able to write a novel or a feature length screenplay (well, not alone at least)  But I know there are people who are really good with novels and really comfortable writing 90 page scripts. Its what format you're comfortable, and what story you want to tell. I just wonder if TV was done in a different way, if they had more time, if we didn't do 22 episodes a year, if the stuff that was created would be of higher quality....or if we'd just see more "reality" tv fill the space. God... this was supposed to be a quick little entry about TV shows I've seen...  Thank god for Journals, otherwise I'd be blabbing everyone's ears off at work :P

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June 24th, 2009

02:14 pm I realize I already did a meme today, but moonlight_miles did this one today, and it was so good... so just skip it if you don't want to read it, ok? ( Read more... )

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June 23rd, 2009

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June 21st, 2009

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June 20th, 2009

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June 18th, 2009

05:48 pm - Obscurity Ok... so I tried really, really hard to write up this MASSIVE update about how things are going, and everything that's happened lately.. because even though it's not... it seems like ALOT. But the first day, I didn't get it done... and more things happened. and then another day, and another thing happened. and then my sister calls me from san francisco and tells me that the guy she used to go out with- one of my former roommates for almost a year- totally got some one ELSE pregnant while THEY WERE STILL GOING OUT, and also the weekend happened and I didn't talk about that. Basically the things that happened were: I filmed my first Project on FILM (as opposed to digital) and it actually came out nice, and I looked kinda like a pro doing it. I also was IN 4 different things for other students... and I haven't seen everything, but I've got to say.. I am amazed... I thought that the camera was supposed to make people look LESS flattering... but I'd have to say, for my experience... the camera makes me look much less like a disgusting pig-person than I really am. I mean, I still look huge and all, but film cannot capture the vast array of my flaws completely.  And that's nice... to know that if these terrible images of me do somehow survive... they don't show how really icky I am, at least.  Of course, the film project, of which I am prominently figured, and supposed to look shitty, I haven't seen yet, so we'll see how that turns out. I will say this, though... Even just being the "actor" for a few minutes of film is HARD... I don't LIKE being on film... I don't know why I have such an obsession with acting and actors, when it really comes down to actual performance... I kinda feel like every frame taken of me is actually taken from my being, and I'm only a fraction of the person I was before  (Yes, I get raped by cameras) What Else... What Else... What else? Oh, the other day, my boss asked me if she could schedule a meeting to talk about office procedures... so of course I convince myself that this is some kind of sneaky assault and she's planning to tear me a new one and tell me just exactly how many ways I suck and then throw me out on the street and spit on me, and Crys and I will be forced to move back to the IE never to escape again.  I go in to the meeting yesterday.  Turns out.. she just wanted to see what I thought about office procedures.  (go figure!) I spent the whole night before agonizing about this ten minute meeting that ended with both my bosses telling me that I'm doing a great job and that I should take more breaks if I want to. Which is so absolutely typical of me, to worry so much about something so trivial (and then miss something huge) But it made me realize something... I really, REALLY like my job.  I mean, I want to write, and I would love to be in the Industry... but until (or IF, because, please remember, I go to Columbia College Hollywood)  that happens... I'm not slaving away at something that I don't believe in.  And that's something I should really take the time to stop and enjoy, you know?  because I suppose not everyone gets to work under a philosophy they believe in. Also, I think I'm straddling the line between thinking that everyone else at work is better than me and I totally don't deserve to work there, and being cocky because I DO work there.  No one at school, or anywhere else, really understands why I get so braggy about the place, but the fact of the matter is, I work in one of the best offices of the most well known and well respected teacher's colleges in the state.  And public school shenanigans aside, California's requirements to become a teacher are still some of the best out there.  Ok... I'll stop bragging now.  I'm just saying.. being able to feel proud of where you work is kinda a cool thing.  Pride in general is something I'm begining to enjoy. There's got to be more.... Honestly, there really isn't.,  School is almost over.  I want to go see my sisters in San Francisco after it ends.  I haven't given any  more thought to going to UCB or Groundlings, because as far as I can tell, the one class I really want to take first (Sketch Writing) aren't available for any time that I could make it right now... so I suppose I'll have to be patient.  :(  Or, accept that I'm probably full of shit and will never do it any ways.  I've been in Van Nuys for officially 2 months now.. and I'm all ABOUT wanting to get my own place... I was looking at apartments in studio city today... then trying to calculate how I could afford an apartment on what I take home.  What I figured out was that I CAN'T afford an apartment on what I make.  Which depresses me because... Quite honestly, no matter how much it would be nice.. I'm just not the kind of girl who's gonna be able to get some one relationship wise, who's ever gonna be able to afford me.  I'm not extravagant, but I've definitely got priorities that aren't neccessities, and those cost money...  And even in my wildest dreams, I can't imagine a reason why any guy would do what my dad does for my mom- primarily go out and make all the money, and let her take care of the house and family. Not that I'd neccesarily be good at taking care of a family... I'm kinda horrendous with children... to be honest.. they give me the heebie jeebies.  But I think i could TOTALLY do the whole rest of the domestic thing.  I could cook dinner and clean the house and wash the laundry and  make sure the phone bill gets sent out on time... I do most of that stuff already!  (Well, except for the cooking part)   But I don't think I'll ever get the chance to do that domestic godess thing... because I just can't imagine any reason why some one would be crazy enough to agree to pair up with me like that.  I'm not hot, I'm not maternal, i'm not even very feminine...Honestly, the only good qualities about me are my "male-er" ones.. ambition, competitiveness, and my ability to pay the bills (no matter how meagerly)  (Not that these can't be female qualities, because, hello- VAGINA here!.. but in a stereotypical circa 1957 way, you get what I'm saying.. right?) I'm not saying that there will never be men in my life.  I just see me as kind being like so many other pathetic women I've known in my life... slubbing around losers who refuse to make anything with themselvesbecause it's better than being on your own.  Letting leechlike people who will never grow up take advantage of my depressingly small paycheck and ability to put up with society enough to atleast pay the rent (mostly)  in return for an occasional fuck between video games.  It's not a very pretty future of course... but It's kinda what you expect from an overweight nerd with low self esteem, right?  And lets be honest.. I can hold on to these writing/acting/producing/ruling the world dreams for a few more years... but when I'm competing against people who actually DO have some semblance of self worth... what are my chances of even getting chance at... anything I want?  no one reaches their full potential... but Even trying is for a completely different class of people. I'd say I wish I had known that before I enrolled at CCH... but if I didn't go to school here... I never would have applied at CSUN, and then I would still be living and working in riverside county... and there's quite a difference between never making anything of yourself, and never making anything of yourself while still living in your parents house. So, yeah, I know I'm 3/5ths the way completed with a worthless degree... and I know that I'm on my way to a very mediocre life... a low earning potential that will never bring me the adoration of millions... but... welll... I guess. most conductors know when the train's gonna go off the tracks, right?  It's not like you can stop a wreck from happening when the course has already been set.... And what other kind of life could I possibly lead ? Also, working on a story idea thanks to scarlett_speaks !  I hope that I can get to writing something some time soon!

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June 16th, 2009

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June 15th, 2009

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June 10th, 2009

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June 9th, 2009

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June 5th, 2009

11:57 am - What the hell, why not right? I don't think I get a lot of comments really, but I saw this on thatjamiegirl 's journal and had to try it :) ( Who comments the most on this journal? )

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June 1st, 2009

01:11 pm - Celebrisurvey Instead of writing an entry about what movies I saw this weekend (Up and Night at the Museum again)  or further explaining why I didn't like The Short Halloween (Not funny enough) I figured you all would LOVE to hear me gush over who I think is hot right now.  If nothing else, you should quickly steal this survey (like I did from the tasteful scenefromabook ) and put it on your lj so I can know who you're drooling over. List ten celebrity crushes and then answer the questions under the cut. 01. Will Forte 02. Bill Hader 03. John Cleese 04.Seth Rogen 05. Hank Azaria 06.Chris Parnell 07. Vincent D'Onfrio 08.Will Arnett 09. Seth Meyers 10. Zac Efron ( Read at your own risk )

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May 29th, 2009

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May 28th, 2009

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May 27th, 2009

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May 23rd, 2009

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May 20th, 2009

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